Friday, December 13, 2013

I'm Officially Upset by Chi-Ping

Officially upset, depressed, really put out, curled up in a ball at mom’s side, desperate for relief; I sighed. The puppy we found in the middle of the road follows me everywhere wanting to suckle. Blondie put a stop to her action, but mom raised her voice to Blondie, who has been skulking around ever since. Robert Redford and Lucky tired of her quickly; they can’t get away fast enough from the puppy, mom now calls Darla. Being suckled by a small critter with needle teeth didn't turn out to be as much fun as the boys thought it would. If a bitch could smirk, you’d enjoy my face as I remember them learning just this; aside from small satisfaction, I've had nothing but aggravation.
Mom’s friend Marcie, brought Snoopy and Hattie the day after Darla showed up in a bucket. Snoopy is my size and likes to chase me, I get so tired of it. Hattie, the Salinderas Beach puppy won the lottery, when mom and Marcie took a walk on the beach without a single dog, and there she was. A stray dog prays for someone to love, who will love me, too. Blondie and I know we’re lottery winners; mom is one crazy prize, especially when she brings home puppies. She promised there would be no more than, well, five, but Lola’s gone and I don’t want to replace her with this whining, complaining rat, who can tumble down a stair, but not up, so she screams bloody murder, until mom walks around to the carport ramp with her. This is not a dog; this is a baby and a brat, at that.
Defending our turf is job enough, without having company, even if Snoopy thinks I’m wonderful. If you have something good, somebody else wants it. There’s only so much room in a bed; Smoki takes my spots, we don’t need competition. Earlier this week we fought off an interloper for hours. I've never seen anything fight Blondie so hard, the boys and I nipped the behind of the fierce devil to give Blondie better advantage.
Mom called, the boys came leaving me and Blondie in the woods battling the beast. With Robert Redford and Lucky in the house mom worked her way through the weeds, calling as she came. We didn't want her to get hurt so we ran to her. Our adversary would not pursue.
You’d think that my life was an adventure, but its pure challenge, I tell you. Late this morning I was on the easy chair listening to bachata, really into the music when the scent of the vagrant who fought us to a standoff wafted in the window. My hair stood on end, me, I froze to the spot.
This ugly white bitch with her big egg head stood in our yard looking in through my front door. Her tail stood mid way between straight out and straight up, she wasn't spoiling for a fight, but with these bull breeds you never know. Snoopy’s nose was glued to her behind, well, easy come; easy go.
Asleep on the front porch, Blondie must have been dreaming about the bitch, who didn't seem ready to go anywhere. Mom woke Blondie and guided her into the house before she completely woke up. The Bull Terrier wandered about and then laid down under our SUV, while Blondie fumed with her head shaking and bubbles frothing from her mouth.

Who can blame me for being upset? 

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